Loving our Husbands

I’m SO thankful for the gift of marriage. My husband and I have been married for 7 1/2 years now and I can honestly say that it is a relationship matched by no other. He is my best friend. Our relationship has taught me SO much about myself. If you want to learn first-hand about selflessness, grace, kindness, justice, forgiveness, humility, mercy, love, joy, peace and patience…get married!:)

I remember in our early days of marriage we would spend ALL our time doing pretty much whatever we wanted to do. Date nights, movies, candlelite dinners, weekend getaways, we backpacked through Europe for 6 weeks, travelled to the States on several occassions as I was finishing up my degree, we were spontaneous and free! Then the Lord brought us into the season on being parents……

After we had our first child life wasn’t that different, our son was kind of like an accessory that we took with us wherever we went. But then we had another and another, and now with 3 children the dynamics of our home have drastically changed! The dynamics of our relationship have changed as well and I have learned alot over the past 4 1/2 years with having children.

I have realized that not only am I called to serve my children but even more importantly I am called to serve my husband. To love him and nurture him as well. As a mommy I can get overwhelmed and consumed with the immediate and urgent needs of my kids and sometimes overlook my poor hubby:( He is so gracious and kind, not demanding of his own needs but continuing to give and serve our family. He is an amazing provider. He works harder than any man I know.

We, as wives, need to recognize that, just like our children, our husbands have emotionaly and physical needs that we need to tend to. We need to make our husbands a priority. It is pretty easy to continue to take care of our kids and households and neglect our husbands. However when we do this, they suffer, we suffer and eventually our kids will suffer. I believe that if we do not make time for each other we can put a wedge in our relationship and eventually we can grow apart. How sad would it be to get to the end of our lives and realize that we grew apart in the midst of a life that we both wanted? I am challenged to remember that the Lord is first priority in my life, second is my husband and third are my children.

Do you know your husbands love language? When we did premarital counseling before our wedding we read a book together called the 5 Love Languages (www.5lovelanguages.com), it helped us to overstand how we give and receive love, I challenge you to read it together! It has taught me how to express my love to my husband in a way that he can understand and receive.

Jim and I have been challenged to make our relationship a priority. We have learned that the only way we can do this is to plan for it! We have intentionally put things in place to make sure that this happens. Here is a list of a couple things we do to safeguard our relationship and invest our time wisely.

1. We have a date night twice a month, no kids allowed, just the two of us. (Minimum of 2 hours away – sometimes I bring the baby because she is still nursing but she usually sleeps)

2. We put our kids to bed at 8:30pm every night so that we have a couple hours to talk and spend together before we go to bed. We try to read together or talk about our days. (If you don’t have kids you might think establishing a bed time is not necessary, let me tell you from experience, IT IS!)

3. We have chosen to spend one night a week playing a board game together, rather than watching the TV, interacting on some type of social media, or reponding to emails.It helps us to engage, laugh and connect on a lighter level. (Remember TV can be a time stealer, you can both sit in front of the TV for hours and not even talk to each other!)

4. We have 15 minute talk time. Either before or after dinner we tell our kids that mommy and daddy need uninterrupted talk time and we spend this time catching up on our daily events, its nice to have eachothers undivided attention, it ends up feeling longer than 15 minutes:)

We have found that these simple events keep us connected and allow us time to experience life together. Even in the midst of whinny toddlers, poopy diapers, tantrums, time-outs, and being extremely over tired we are madly in love! We are continuing to grow together and learning to love eachother more each day. I challenge you no matter what your situation is to take time for your relationship when you can. The moments may be few and far between but seize the one you get, they are worth it!

Marriages are the foundation of our families. If the foundation crumbles the whole house will fall. I encourage you to build a strong foundation and continue to build it as your household grows. A house is only as strong as its foundation! Take the time, it’s well worth your investment!

May we ALL honor the Lord with our marriages today!!

Enjoying the Seasons

I have always lived in a climate that experiences all 4 seasons in a year. While there are certain seasons that I favor over others the Lord has been showing me how blessed I am to be able to live in a country where I can enjoy each season and its uniqueness. The season I struggle the most with is winter but I am starting to open up to the idea that I need to be creative in order to enjoy the cold and sometimes dark days:)

One of our family’s goals this year was to really embrace the outdoors and to thank God no matter what the weather. We have been puddle jumping in the rain, walking and hiking in the sunshine, making snowmen in the winter and raking and jumping piles of leaves in the fall. As I have allowed these seasons to become part of my life and have stopped complaining I have really been able to show my kids that there is always joy and together we have been cultuvating a heart of thanksgiving for EACH day! I even find that enjoying the outdoors as a family really helps my husband and I in our marriage. Being outside allows our children time and space to interact and play while we are able to talk and reflect on our life together. We will often take our family out for a walk if we want to have a good and lengthy conversation.

I have noticed that in each season there is a different feel that begins to stir in my heart. In the fall I feel the need to nest and really prepare my household for the long months ahead. In the summer I love to be out basking in the sun and going on daily adventures to local parks, beaches and pools. In the winter I love to snuggle up with a warm cup of peppermint tea and a blanket and read a book or study the Word. In the spring I love to clean and prepare my gardens for new life to arrive.

Each season in many ways relates to the seasons of my soul. Life is such a beautiful journey and each day is a gift to us from the Lord. I seen in many ways how my life experiences correlate with the seasons and even simple smells can bring me back to my childhood. For example the smell of fresh cut grass bring my back to mornings I would awaken in the summer and my father would be outside mowing the lawn…it is a memory that I love and brings so much warmth and joy to my heart.

Our creator is SO amazing, that we have the ability to link emotions, times and smells together. We can feel the sun beating on our face and remember the summer vacation we took 20 years ago! I am so thankful for this gift of life! I am blessed to be alive! When my emotions try to get the better of me on a rainy day I am choosing to embrace each day and its simple pleasures!! May you embrace the seasons and bask in the gift of LIFE!

What did you do today?

On several occasions I have been asked by people who find out that I stay home with my children; “so you stay home, what exactly did you do today?” Or sometimes they simply state; “you stay home, that must be so nice, you must have so much time on your hands, I wish I could do that”. Sometimes I want to volunteer them to babysit my three children and run our household for a 10 hour time slot and see if they come up with a different response:)

At times my defenses have flared up because the tone of their voice implies that I didnt do anything at all. As if there is doubt in their minds that I did anything more than getting out of bed or sleeping through the entire day. The Lord really had to deal with my heart in this area of my life. Why was I so offended by their questions? Why do I feel like I need to prove my position? When I used to talk about my career in counseling as a therapist, I never had the need to defend my job but now as a stay-at-home mom I feel the need to defend it?

I felt like telling them everything I did in a day; …”Woke up, had a shower (if I’m lucky), got dressed, made the bed, made 3 more beds, got the kids up, changed two diapers, did toddlers hair, picked out clothes for three little people, dressed the same three little people, brushed two sets of teeth, breastfed the baby, made breakfast, unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, cleaned up after breakfast, gave out vitamins, by this time changed another diaper, hopefully brushed my teeth and hair, (not gonna lie, it doesn’t often happen), took out the garbage, threw in a load of laundry, did homeschool with the two little kids while the baby napped, change another diaper, hang out laundry on the line, put in a load of cloth diapers, played pirates (the kids were the pirates and I was the monkey – go figure:), read a couple books, attempted a puzzle, got snack out, fed snack to the two little kids, cleaned up, hung diapers on the line, put in a load of towels, got on our coats, packed into the van, did up 4 sets of seatbelts, headed out to the EYC, played and talked with some other mom’s (one of the highlights of my day), packed the kids back up in the van, another 4 sets of seatbelts, stopped at the gas station and filled up, realized I needed a coffee today, stopped at Tim Hortons, also added two muffins to my order for the backseat drivers in the van:), unloaded the van, kids played, changed another diaper, unpacked diaper bag, got out lunch, made two different lunches because they don’t like the same meal, cleaned up, ate the leftovers, fed the baby, changed another diaper, put on a show for 1/2hr, put the toddler down for a nap, set up the 4yr old for a quiet time, played with the baby, cut up watermelon for snack, started getting ready for supper, took the dry clothes in, hung out the wet clothes, put in the last load of towels, swept the floor, sent the messages from the phone calls for my husbands business that I answer throughout the day, put the baby down for her nap, sat down for 15 minutes in the silence and read by Bible and journaled (another highlight of my day), was interrupted by the 4 yr old who reminded me that quiet time is now over, cleaned up his room, got toddler up from her nap, make the bed again, changed a diaper, got out snack, cleaned up split juice with a mop, played in the playroom, got everyone dressed for a walk, went to the marsh and got cat tails, carried the 4 yr old home while pushing the double stroller because he was too tired to walk, (I felt like I was going to faint:), got dinner started, fed the baby and did a puzzle with my feet, played a swords game and lost, changed baby’s diaper, hubby came home, we ate, cleaned up, loaded dishwasher, talked about the day, took clothes off the line, folded clothes, put clothes away, undressed the 3 kids, bathed the 3 kids, got three sets of PJ’s on, had a bedtime snack, brushed teeth, read stories, said prayers, sand songs and put the two littles to bed, fed the baby, put baby to bed, came downstairs, cleaned up, did dishes, took out garbage, turned on dishwasher, talked with Jim, prayed, put my head on my pillow and passed out!”… that is what I did today and you? Some of you may be able to relate all too well to the job description above.

It bothered me for a really long time, until I began to realize that it wasn’t a question of what I did as a mom, it was my view as myself in that position. I didn’t believe that what I was doing was important and I wanted to prove to myself and others that it was an important job. The Lord began to heal my heart and show me that what I do every day really does matter and that even if no one else notices that HE see me and says that it is worth it. I felt such a relief when I began to walk in this truth everyday, I didn’t feel the need to strive or prove myself rather I began to have a heart that was thankful for the job that He assigned to me. I now see each of these daily activities as worship to the Lord and as a duty that I need to be faithful to. I am a mother and that is my full time job in this season of my life and I love it! I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, looking after anyone else. I count it a blessing and a priviledge to stay home with my babies and I pray that I will be able to raise them to be all that God created them to be, this is my highest and most important calling in life! May you be encouraged to pursue motherhood to the fullest whether you stay home or work, remember that the little ones in your care are a gift and a blessing! You are valuable and important not because of what you do but because you are loved and accepted by your Creator!

Welcome!

I am so glad that you came to check out my blog. I am really looking forward to connecting with you and hearing from you on a regular basis. I admit that this blog has taken me longer than expected to publish, mostly because I am such a perfectionist and I wanted to edit everything to death! But I gave in, actually my husband said that he would publish it if I didn’t so I just decided to DO IT! I hope I find you all well. I want to invite you to follow my story, posts,reciepes, homemaking and devos-to-go. I am hoping to provide a place of hope, encouragement and relationships mostly for woman, wives and especially mothers who feel as though some days they might loose it after changing a dozen poopy diapers, not showering for 5 days and sleeping for an average of 5 hrs a night (combined). YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE:) And the truth of the matter is that there are many of us out there, we are all in this season of life together and to be honest, although it is difficult at times, I love it, and I want to encourage you to love it as well! Marriage, pregnancies, babies, breastfeeding, toddlers and homemaking all present very unique challenges and I believe that we can learn so many things together. Some days are good and some are not so good:) Like my 3 year old son put it, as he rested his hand on my shoulder, after a long day, in which I shed many tears, ”Mommy its a hard day”!  He knew! I looked up at him and smile, yes it is a hard day, but because you said it I can move on and things are going to get better! Sometimes we need a gentle reminder that some days are hard but that they are short lived. Life is beautiful, regardless of the sticky hands, painted walls, poopy diapers, dirty dishes, stained carpet and chaos of having children, they are growing and we are watching them, this is a rare and beautiful thing. Pregnant bellies, hormones, elevated emotions and bodies that arent what they used to be are; these are some of the challenges that are reality. Life is simple, my days usually consist of feeding, changing, playing, feeding again, changing again, sleeping and playing. I feel like I clean up just in time for someone to make a mess and then I clean it again. It isnt rocket science, it’s simplicity and I have learned over the years to cherish the simplicity because too often we, as “grown ups”, try to complicate things. Children laugh an average of 400 times a day, adults about 40 times, so jump in with your kids and enjoy life. Please engage, share your heart, comment, correct, have fun and laugh with me in this season. I pray that as we grow together on this journey you and your household will be strengthen and encouraged to live a simply beautiful life!